Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21
For those of us who have been in a relationship for an extended period of time, know that it takes continuous work to keep the relationship alive, refreshed, renewed. It is so easy to fall into a rountine that doesn't leave too much fun or excitement. The longer you are with someone, the more comfortable you get. Therefore, it will take a conscious decision and effort to allow the passion and fun to continue on in the relationship.
While it is important for each individual to do their part, the first thing to remember is to choose your words carefully when speaking to your mate (that is, if you want to get the desired results). Make sure that the words you are speaking are what you truly meant to say, they are said with compassion and respect, and they are beneficial to both people. When trying to get your spouse or significant other to do an activity they have made obvious that they either don't want to, or are not that creative or motivated to come up with on their own, you have to make sure that you are speaking the individual's language. What I mean is, we all have a language. We all have ways that we respond to what is or has been said to us. We learn each other's patterns through time spent with one another. Therefore, you know what is most likely to make your mate uncomfortable, irritable, upset, or just completely shut down. In having this information, you need to proceed with caution. Make sure that you have taking into account how this conversation may make the individual feel, and plan to make it as comfortable for him/her as possible. Remember, the key is to get the desired results you are looking for.
I have learn in the sixteen years I have been with to my husband that it makes all the difference in the world how I approach him with an idea or suggestion. I can pretty much tell early on in the conversation if whether or not he is receiving what I am saying to him. That's why I have to approach the situation speaking his language, not mine. I already know what I want, it's getting him to see it the way I do is the goal.
Don't misunderstand me, this is not about manipulating a person to get them to do what you want them to do; it's about explaining the situation to the person where they can understand it, and making them informed enough to make a rational decision about it.
Remember: The key is to build a strong, lasting relationship. And the way to do that is with communication. BE BLESSED
A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit. Proverbs 29:23